Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
