Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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