I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
