You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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