): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
