It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
