do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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