didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
