To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
