we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
