Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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