The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
