Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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