i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
