How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
