i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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