I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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