And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
