So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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