TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Dicks are not precious.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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