We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
