S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
