the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
