and my herpes radar will keep us safe
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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