Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
