We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
