Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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