your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
