my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
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