I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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