she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
