nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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