All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
