No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
