She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
