Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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