drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
