I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
