omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
