Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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