He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I need mimosas to revive my soul
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
