that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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