so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
