Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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