you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
