I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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