HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
