we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
