If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
