Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
