If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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