Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
