in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
