every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Is this like a preordered booty call?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
