I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
