do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
